The Choice
In living wisdom we are discussing the Bhagavad Gita and it’s relevant because we’re doing Swadhyaya this week.
One of the classical interpretations of Swadhyaya is
the study of the scriptures,
to study yourself
through the truths discovered by your forebears,
those who have walked the path before you.
Not opinions.
Truths.
Discovered truths,
inherent to the very nature of things.
We’ve been with the Bhagavad Gita,
for the last two years,
and now we’re nearing the end.
We’re at the penultimate chapter.
One more to go.
Throughout the book Krishna has been preparing Arjuna.
He’s been explaining everything,
paving the way.
And Arjuna has been blossoming
before his very eyes.
It wasn’t easy, to begin with.
He was a crumpled heap
of sorrow and despair.
But now,
he’s lifted,
upright.
He’s saying,
Yes!
And Krishna says to him in chapter 16,
“You’re ready now —
to make the choice of choices, my son.
A choice of choices.”
Here is how it is:
You can choose, right now,
forevermore,
to live from the centre of your heart.
You can choose to live
in accordance with what you’ve discovered
within yourself to be true —
whatever the consequences may be.
That last bit is the nailer.
Whatever the consequences,
you make the singular choice to live in truth.
No matter how that plays out.
It is enough
that it is simply true.
That it’s authentic
to your being.
Let that be enough for you.
To live as the love that you are,
regardless of the pain
inherent in that choice.
No matter how many times
it breaks your heart open
and shatters you to pieces,
you love love enough to do it.
If you make this choice —
to live from the centre of your heart,
in truth,
as the love that you are —
your entire life becomes singular.
It moves
into a single flow of divinity
on Earth.
That is
the choice of studentship.
I choose to live from the centre of my heart.
I choose to live in truth no matter the cost.
I choose to live in love no matter the pain.
Of course…
we need to make that choice
again and again and again.
But there are moments in life
where the choice rises up,
looks you in the eye and says:
Will you?
Or will you live for something lower?
Something less than that?
And is that
going to satisfy your soul?
Will it fulfil your heart
like this choice could?
This choice
will make your life remarkably simple.
Not easy.
But it will end all your dilemmas,
all your confusion.
You’ll be living
for something so singular,
so clean and pure,
you’ll never be in a state
of self-confusion again.
You’ll know what you’re about.
This choice is there
for every being to make.
Regardless of your circumstances.
Regardless of your history.
It just exists —
always —
as this pristine choice.
The highest choice.
I feel like the Yamas and Niyamas
we’ve been looking at
are a reflection of that choice.
They are what this choice
looks like in our life.
The fragrance
of having made that choice
within the heart.
And our six refuges —
they secure us back into that choice
with enough regularity
that it just becomes our natural way.
Swadhyaya —
the ninth initiation —
is a return to wonder.
A return
to the process of learning,
self-discovery,
the great deepening.
Not just understanding —
something more subtle than that.
Being open
to the unfolding,
and letting the mystery
reveal itself,
unlock itself
within you
and around you.
Ceasing to see it all
as just an accidental,
mundane repetition —
But as a Life teaching,
unfolding
very specifically
for you.
This is Swadhyaya.
Krishna says in the Gita —
the nature of God,
the mystery of this great unfolding —
it’s absolutely beyond
human comprehension.
So he says:
Look at your life.
Really look at it.
And the more closely you look,
with an open mind,
the more you’ll begin to see
the incredible perfection
and accuracy
of its unfolding —
So that you can grow
into what you are
meant to become.
The moment your heart unlocked
in a certain situation —
Life ordained it
with such incredible,
interconnected intelligence.
Someone arrived
at the right moment,
to say the right thing,
in the right way.
And not just for you —
for them too,
and everything else
moving around that moment.
Study that —
with your heart open.
Then it’s no longer rational.
No longer something the mind
can neatly explain.
It’s not mundane,
not understandable,
not reasoned —
It’s something beyond.
Something unimaginable.
But you can surrender into it and start to feel it.
Swadhyaya —
the study of Life.
Learning on the job.
Having your unfolding.
Learning as you go.
Nothing to prove.
No certificate.
No pat on the back.
Just the thrill of being alive —
and learning,
as we go along,
about what it really means
to keep opening up to more and more.
The great discovery.
Swa means Self.
For this,
you’ll have to relax
into the deepest part
of yourself.
From here,
you’ll begin to see
so much more clearly —
the great unfolding of everything.
If you try to base yourself in the mind,
to understand it —
you become part of the problem.
You’re part of the contraction,
not the understanding.
You’re part of the confusion.
But if you drop deeper than that —
if you rest back from the mind
and create some space —
you can start to sit back
and see the bigger vision.
It’s revealed to us
as we go.
Not,
“I’ve got it. I’ve figured it out.”
That’s the cry of the human mind —
“I’ve got it now!”
Only to be disproved
very shortly after.
But when we’re in Swa —
when we’re rooted in the true Self —
we’re in a space that isn’t locked in that condition.
It’s always a space of revelation.
That was not mine to know.
That wasn’t my discovery.
It was revealed to me.
Life
is constantly revealing itself
to its devotee.
But the revelation
depends on there being a devotee.
Someone in humility —
who wants to understand,
but doesn’t want to own it.
It wants musicians
who don’t own the music.
It wants scientists
who don’t own the discovery.
It wants lovers
who don’t own the love.
It wants instruments
simply because that is the best way
to live,
to learn,
to understand —
without glamorising ourselves.
Without making ourselves important.
Not:
“I’m worthy now because I understand something.”
But:
“Thank you for that little glimpse of understanding.”
Which leaves
an infinite
misunderstanding
yet to be revealed.
How wonderful.
But in order for this kind of seeing —
in order for us to see from the Self
how Life works —
We also have to see
that which doesn’t work.
What works seemingly against the light.
We have to look —
honestly —
what we’re doing,
even when it’s not good
for us,
for others,
for anything.
Why do I slip into this hatred?
Why do I keep forming
this poison of resentment inside?
Let me look at this from the light.
Not to analyse.
Not to fix.
Not to hate it.
Just to see.
With no judgment.
To look and say:
Do I wish to bring my energy to that?
Do I wish to align with that?
Or am I no longer aligned with that?
Then there’s a choice.
It may take time —
but I’m willing to see,
because I know it’s not me.
It’s not true.
It’s just a tendency.
A way I used to do life
before I fell deeply into faith.
Before I discovered
the Swa inside of me.
But since I discovered the Swa —
within myself,
my dhyaya now says:
I no longer live this way.
I choose to live
from the centre of my heart.
In accordance with truth as the love that I am.
That’s the life
of self-inquiry.
“I want so much
to live in love
and live in truth —
I’m willing to take
a good f***ing look
at everything
that is not in alignment with that.
Everything
that doesn't resonate
with that.
Everything
that isn’t true to that.
I want to see it.
Not as a victim —
but so I can be free.
I want to see every
dark corner in myself,
so I can put the light there.”
That’s the Swadhyayin.
One who partakes in Swadhyaya
is not a victim of truth —
but a lover of truth.
Who says:
Whatever the cost —
I’ll burn for it.
No worries.
I’d rather die
than live in falsity.
Better to live one day in truth and die,
than to exist in falsity.
I’m in.
Show me.
I’m hoping it’s sounding
proactive and positive —
Because when your life moves from your soul —
it can’t be anything but perfect.
It might not look predictable.
It might not look comfortable.
It might be painful sometimes.
It might be hard.
But it will be true.
That’s the promise.
The map is already written inside your soul
Fear not the outcome.
Fear not.
Fear not.
Just sit in truth —
it will protect you.
Sit in love —
it will protect you.
There is no greater protection
than love.
We think it’s fragile.
It’s not.
It’s the most powerful
f***ing force on the planet.
It’s the only reason we’re here.
We are born out of love.
It’s not weak.
It’s not fragile.
It is the greatest support,
the greatest protection
a human being can have —
To surrender to love.
We imagine there are all kinds of protections
that are better than that.
We try to protect ourselves
from heartbreak —
but that’s not love.
That’s got nothing to do with love.
Love says:
Break me.
Pulverise me.
Shatter me —
As long as I expand
into You
more and more.
That’s good enough for me.
Now go ahead.
This ends the game, you see.
Once you’re no longer scared
of pain,
of consequences,
of having your heart broken —
What can get you now?
What could you possibly be afraid of?
You can’t be scared anymore,
if you’re not scared of having your heart broken
and pain.
And human life —
it's mostly built around avoiding
those two things:
Avoiding love.
Avoiding truth.
Which means avoiding pain,
avoiding heartbreak —
which is also pain.
But once we’ve stopped
avoiding pain —
There goes fear.
It can’t get anywhere near you.
And it’s not because
we’re martyrs —
it’s just because
we have a higher aspiration.
I wish to live
in the centre of my heart,
in truth,
and in love —
Whatever comes.
Spiritual life
is utterly outrageous.
I hope its apparent that this is simply a way of living.
A way of going along with Life.
Swadhyaya is everywhere.
It brings the light of awareness into a greater brightness
so we see more.
“Oh I see that I do that.
I see that I think this way.”
Our practice is filled with Swadhaya
I can either be with this flow or
create a problem with it,
or
relax, and cease to have the problem.
Day to day living —
catching ourselves thinking in ways
that just don’t enhance our spirit.
And saying:
“You know what?
I see this for what it is.
I put this down.
I fall back into my heart.”
All of this is Swadhyaya.
It’s just everywhere.
We’ve only got
one more initiation.
One more Niyama.
Patanjali in true style,
saves the best until last.
Even if you weren’t here
for any of the others —
no worries.
Here comes the trump card.
Next week.
Namaste.
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