Reclaiming Ourselves
What’s Your Aspiration?
It’s good to name a few.
Different things ring true at different times.
Sometimes there’s an aspiration for freedom —
a wish to go beyond the limits of ourselves,
beyond the constraints and compulsiveness.
We start to feel…
I’m a bit too small for this now.
There’s more in me — on a spirit level —
than the physical container is currently allowing.
It keeps getting clogged up in things
I don’t want it to get clogged up in anymore.
So the wish arises —
to untangle myself from whatever I’ve got tied up in.
Where the spirit would want to be free.
Freedom is a great call.
Sometimes truth is the great motivator.
I want to be real.
True.
I want to live from a depth of authenticity and integrity
that my ego device won’t allow —
because the ego is essentially a defence mechanism.
It projects a version of me that was handy at one time,
but isn’t true anymore.
It doesn’t fit anymore.
And love…
love can be a massive motivating force.
I want to be an instrument that can serve,
that can express love.
One that isn’t constricted in the heart,
not blocking ecstasy, joy and bliss.
These are all good motivating forces.
I want to live more like that.
Whatever your aspiration is right now,
the question is —
what’s it going to take?
What’s it going to cost you
to have these levels of freedom?
To keep breaking through into new territories of yourself.
To become a greater vessel.
To have a greater capacity for love.
To be more true.
More free.
To have the courage to be fully yourself.
Shall we make it simple?
It’s going to take the whole of ourselves.
We have to give the whole of ourselves to Life.
And to do that —
we have to reclaim the whole of ourselves back.
Where have we put ourselves?
Why haven’t we got the whole of ourselves?
Where have we been depositing ourselves?
Go out and find yourself
in all these different places you’ve put yourself —
because you have to get it all back.
Every single little piece of you
that you have placed outside yourself —
in something else —
has got to come back.
Otherwise… you can’t give it.
Why did we put pieces of ourselves in other people?
Why did we leave parts of ourselves back in the past?
Why did we tuck them into some future dream?
We left a lot of ourselves in people
because it felt safer that way.
It felt more secure to put ourselves in something else
than in ourselves.
When we feel insecure,
we outsource big time.
We gave ourselves away for love.
For appreciation.
For approval.
To parents.
To partners.
To work.
To identity.
We’ve left ourselves scattered thin.
It’s cool to get real and admit it:
we are spread out.
Calling It All Back
It’s going to take every part of you.
All the energy you’ve left in other people,
in past experiences,
in traumas,
in the need to prove yourself,
in your identity,
in your work.
It all has to come back.
You don’t have to go back to the people
or back to the moments —
because the energy left you from the inside.
You can take it back from the inside too.
It takes the declaration:
“My life is ultimately my responsibility.
It must be in this house.”
Anything you are dependent on outside yourself —
question it.
Because it’s just not true that you are.
You might have felt a bit weak back then,
so you sold a bit of yourself over.
It was convenient.
You did things you didn’t really mean
to get some connection outside yourself.
Now — decide:
“My life is my life. Absolutely.”
It’s all you’ve got.
Call it all home.
Then we can start from there.
If you want to be totally free,
if you want to be a vessel of love,
if you want to be true to yourself —
every speck of you
must be back in your house.
And…
every speck of someone else
that you’re holding hostage inside yourself
must be given back.
Friends.
Foes.
Family.
No use aspiring to freedom
while holding others bound.
If I’m to fully take myself back into me,
I have to give them back to themselves.
It’s not about waiting until you’re whole before giving —
Life works in pulses.
But you can see the trap we fall into:
false giving.
Where the ego is wanting something back,
doing a deal.
Energy looping back and forth.
That’s not how Life would give through you
if it had the chance.
What if you didn’t need anyone or anything?
What if you could just be inside yourself —
happy with God?
That’s the invitation.
Your sadhana is already making you happier there.
Needing less.
Depending less.
Panicking less.
You know that if it all collapses —
you’ll be fine.
The more you know that,
the more you can call it all back in.
Then Life can give through you —
fully, purely,
without the ego’s deals.
The Great Network of Energy
The yogis say there are seventy-two thousand nadis —
energy channels — in the body.
But if you look at the bigger picture,
those channels extend outwards…
almost infinitely.
A vast, intricate web.
Through our egoic structure,
we project a massive ‘me’ into that web.
A hologram of yourself.
The little you here
feels utterly dependent
on everything that projection is connected to.
You might think,
“I love this” or “I love that”…
but often,
the thing that sent the energy out
wasn’t love at all.
So we have the small ego in here,
and the massive ego-world out there —
this hologram of you.
And that’s not you.
The work is to withdraw your energy
back along those nadis,
back through the web,
until the dependency reduces.
The need to outsource reduces.
Everything in that hologram
begins to free itself from your grip.
You get your energy back.
They get their life back.
It’s up to them what they do with it —
but your part in the deal is done.
And when that happens,
everything starts to flow again.
The false reality built by the ego’s network
dissolves,
and reality as it truly is
begins to emerge.
The wheels start turning.
Life starts moving.
You’ve just set everything free.
All the practices —
asana, pranayama, meditation, spinal breathing —
are designed for this one thing:
to call your energy back in.
To withdraw prana from the projections
you’ve left in the past,
sent into the future,
lodged in other people.
The nadis that carried it out
become the same channels
that bring it home.
Right into your body.
Into the central vortex of what you are —
your spine.
Your spine is where your first emanation came from.
It’s the origin point.
Asana brings the energy back into the physical body.
Pranayama brings it back into the energy body.
Meditation brings it back into the mental body.
Spinal breathing draws it into the spine
and integrates them all.
Gradually, all the networks out in the world
are returned to you.
And then —
you’re in the optimal position.
An energetic hub
that does nothing but give off light.
Not from egoic effort to serve,
but because that’s what naturally happens
when everything is in-house.
With no games being played by the ego,
you simply emanate love,
light,
peace,
joy.
This is the enlightened condition of a being.
Speaking to you about this
is a bit like making dying attractive.
It’s a strange job.
Because much of the time,
we think we are that projection we’ve pushed out.
But you’re not.
It’s fine to create it.
It’s also fine to uncreate it.
And the more you uncreate,
the more liberated you become.
Then everybody else
starts getting their life back too.
Pushing It Further
Whatever you leave behind in this lifetime…
you will have to come back and sort it out.
Wherever you’ve left pockets of your energy,
you will have to return for them.
That includes the people you hate.
The ones you have an issue with.
The ones you’re still blaming.
The ones you still feel you’re a victim of.
If you left your energy there,
you’ll have to go back and get it.
When we hold someone inside us
with dislike or ill-wishing,
it means we have a very intimate relationship with them.
Strange, isn’t it?
We have the most intimate relationships
with the people we don’t like.
So this is the ultimate setting free.
Set everybody free.
Yourself.
Them.
Then it all flows.
Then whatever needs to happen in this great thing
starts to happen —
not through an egoic contraction,
but through this incredible intelligence.
When you go far enough,
there’s one inevitable discovery:
it’s all perfect.
Completely perfect.
Even the egoic projection —
just perfectly unravelling.
To be part of that perfection
because you’re no longer interfering with your nadis
is an incredible —
and achievable —
attainment.
Then you get to experience
heaven on earth.
Of course, there is work involved.
It’s tough.
Hand it back.
Your wives.
Your husbands.
Your children.
Your parents.
Your friends.
Your foes.
Give them all back their freedom
by no longer holding them
in an energetic knot inside yourself.
That’s the work —
no matter who or what it is.
And your practice will give you the energy to do it.
Because behind the scenes —
even without you knowing —
it is already withdrawing energy from them.
Your system becomes like a magnet,
drawing prana back from your external hologram.
And this enables you
to see things you couldn’t see before.
To see where you’re stuck.
You can only see where you’re stuck
when enough energy has been withdrawn from a situation
to give you perspective.
Then, once the balance has shifted
and energy is coming back to you
rather than flowing out,
you can easily withdraw the rest.
Some of this is practice.
Some of it is a conscious choice.
The Dawning of Bhakti
Your sadhana is giving you roots in your own energy network.
Enough energy is returning
that it starts to hunger for more.
The more free you get inside,
the more you will want to resolve
any outsourced energy.
You’ll start to want it back.
This is the dawning of bhakti —
the lust for Life,
the longing for more of yourself.
Then it becomes clear
where you’ve outsourced.
It often comes with a feeling:
dependency,
fear,
that jittery edge in certain situations
or around certain people.
Taking Responsibility for Agitation
You might notice
your energy feels unstable
in relationship to someone.
That’s an energetic dynamic —
the prana in a confused state.
Maybe you want to control them.
Maybe you don’t like them.
Maybe their energy
is so full of love
that you can hardly take it in.
What we call anxiety or stress
is often just pranic confusion in the nadis.
Everyone is anxious
until all the energy is back in the hub
and no longer dissipated in the outer channels.
In certain situations
you might feel your prana disturbed.
Now you know why:
there’s a nadi coming out of you toward that person,
and there’s conflict along that line.
The work is to settle yourself.
Drop back into truth.
Cease to be dependent
or at odds with the other.
Then the prana will gradually withdraw
and be reabsorbed into you.
We observe ourselves feeling uncomfortable.
We dare to stay present in an agitated state.
And then —
we take responsibility for that agitation.
We turn within
to see what we can do
to bring it to sukha —
ease, calm.
This is the journey of wisdom,
knowledge,
understanding,
mastery.
It’s not usually a click of the fingers.
First, you observe that the prana is upset.
Then, gradually, you bring it back to ease.
We’ve all been bright red with embarrassment,
or overwhelmed to the point of shutting down.
Sometimes we leave the situation —
that’s one way.
But more and more,
you’ll be able to stay.
To stand in it,
and let the experience happen
within your own organism.
That is your power.
Being With Sensation
There’s something massive you can do:
acknowledge the feeling
inside your body.
This is where most people will not go.
At any cost.
We tend to describe how we feel
in our heads —
but not in our bodies.
The moment you name it as sensation,
you’ve already neutralised
a huge amount of mental activity
that was distracting you from the experience.
You come right back into the body.
Then you’ve just got energy to deal with.
And once you’ve got energy to deal with —
you can do it.
You can reign the feeling
into the subtle experience of energy.
Let it work inside you
in a subtler way.
It’s at that level
that you can start to move it,
to meet it,
to transform it.
That’s the path.
That’s the work.
And that is where
freedom,
truth,
and love
begin to move through you
without obstruction.
Namaste.
So very grateful for the timing and content of these blogs, magic 🙏🏼💖 thankyou in a big way
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